What is this? Time to write and even beyond that…desire to write? It truly must be spring.
I can’t blame the Twinpops for my absence; I’ve spent the past two months totally getting snippets of time here and there to blog. I just haven’t wanted to. I haven’t wanted to read, either. I didn’t even remember my password to log on here this morning. The only creative pursuit I’ve engaged in – beyond the customary singing, dancing, bouncing, and pureeing interesting disease-fighting concoctions to develop tiny refined palates – is cobbling together an astonishingly awesome baby book. It’s been so much fun and so absorbing that I almost want to start a business making baby books for other people. I also want to open an upscale children’s consignment boutique for all those expensive baby clothes that are now way too small. I also want to go back to Pilates because having twins, especially via c-section, leaves abs in need of TLC. I’d also like to visit Morocco. And take illustration classes. And get a part-time gig giving ghost tours around Independence Mall. I want to nail the yogic head stand once and for all. And garden. And stargaze. And study Jungian theory.
But until today, I have not wanted to write.
I think the reason I’ve been so loathe is that now I’m a Mommy. And I have a Blog. And that puts me into the territory of “Mommy Blogger,” something that makes me Dry Heave. Not that the endless blogs out there about the trials and triumphs of parenting can’t be enjoyable reading every now and then – a lot of those broads are really good, funny writers who are turning their blogs into lucrative ventures – it’s just that I’m not convinced the world needs another person (me) waxing hilarious/moving/twee/poignant/crass/precious/unflinchingly about parenthood. Ugh. The market is oversaturated. It’s annoying. Even though twins are kind of cool and niche-y, and even though my particular twins are brilliant and beautiful and full of daily miracles, it’s still just so much of the same kids doing stuff that I haven’t been compelled to craft into mini-essays.
Yet…I haven’t had as much time for Chinese cupping and B-12 shots to stick to my original premise of writing about fun adventures in beauty and wellness (though I did just get a mystic tan, which reminds me of my first tantastic Mystic experience in April, 2009, the day I met my husband. I suggest that if you are single and ready to mingle, you do the same – the power that binds soul mates doesn’t discriminate between a real tan or a fake one).
So where does this leave me? Lost and procrastinating. So I’ve decided to simplify, to just write what I feel like writing, when I feel like doing it. I’m not going to cater to any particular audience or genre. If you enjoy it, that’s fantastic! If you don’t, c’est la vie, the road to finding one’s authentic voice in the midst of great life change is paved with casualties of readership. I may ramble and go on tangents. I may not be very articulate. I might veer into weird categories. I might just type the same word over and over for twenty minutes in the name of art.
I’m just trying to figure a lot of things out and I’d love it if you joined me.